Life consists of phases.. many many phases... these phases are cyclic and sometimes if your karma decides to be a bitch, these phases start moving a loop.. a repetitive one..and you struggle to figure the meaning of it all.. but you are stuck. You are stuck in this endless loop, an endless cycle.. and worst of all, stuck in time.. stuck in the moment.
When this happens, you cant help but wonder, has this repetitive experience made you stronger? wiser? patient? or better yet accepting?
6 years ago there was a beginning of new phases, then 4 years ago was another phase.. another one 3 years ago...all the same.. all repetitive, all cyclic.. but then again there was a new phase 20 years ago.. one which repeated itself for a wholesome 15 years.
Lets call this phase the naive phase, where there was the belief of love and happy endings all the time.. where dreams came true and the biggest problem you ever had in your hands was something petty something inane..
Like the general saying goes, everything happens for a reason.. you have a learning from every experience.. it tends to get a bit baffling..6 years ago this phase changed me, everything that I was, everything I believed in.. very surprisingly got shattered into a million pieces...hard to imagine a million pieces but there I was lost and confused with absolutely no clue of whats next.. trust me when I say... there is absolutely nothing more scary than that feeling..
6 years later, and still wondering around like a headless buffoon ,whats next? whats are you to do next? Still struggling to make sense of everything in your life and trying to move on.. A close friend once told me.. life has its own roadmap..but sometimes you gotta make things happen for yourself.. you gotta take matters in your own hands and make the change.
You gotta be strong, learn how to hold on and not give up. You keep doing that day after day, week after week and now years after years.its been too long.. there are too many reasons accumulating, pilling up telling you.. enough..
So what do you here.. you really want to everything to end.. but what can you do about it? how do you go about it? how do you draw the line? Do you actually have control over it? Actually, you dont have control over your own karma.. you dont have control over the things that happen.. you just have an illusion of control over your life, I am not sure my friend is correct here, but you cant really steer your life into a direction...think about it..
Life smacks you down you get up and fight.. but thats the beauty of it.. your entire life you are smacked down and you gotta keep getting up and fighting.. continuously.. till you cant do that anymore..until you just give up and decide to end it all..
